Missionary Mentors

Two general sessions in each retreat are led by Steve Hoke, missionary trainer with CRM, co-author of Send Me: Your Journey to the Nations.

Each retreat has missionary mentors from multiple agencies. For example, previous retreats have included missionaries who served in the following countries: China, Ethiopia, France, Ghana, Indonesia, Ivory Coast, Kenya, Japan, Mexico, Middle East, New Zealand, Pakistan, Russia, Taiwan, Thailand, and their agencies have opportunities worldwide. These missionaries were from the following agencies: Christar, CRM, ERRC, ELIC, Frontiers, Heart of God Ministries, International Mission Board (SBC), Interserve, Lifecare Ministries, The Navigators, OMS Int'l, OMF, Operation Mobilization (OM), World Indigenous Missions, WEC Int'l, etc.

Missionary mentors facilitate small group discussions, offer one-on-one counsel, and recommend other agencies in addition to their own. Each will model vulnerability, relate well with younger people, listen first and let the small group shape the discussion. This is an interactive retreat, not a conference or seminar.

Here is some information for those willing to serve as a mentor ...
Missionary mentors check-in Friday at 2:00 pm for prayer and orientation and to assist with the conference setup. (If you would like to request a free host home for Thursday night please email a week in advance.) Please bring money for dinner out on Friday. The retreat provides the three light meals on Saturday and Sunday breakfast to all participants. Missionary mentors stay until Sunday 2 pm when the "missionary debriefing lunch" concludes (this meal is provided).  

The cost for each missionary is the regular nonstudent rate $105 (spring 2008 retreats) which is typically paid by the missionary's agency. In addition, there is an agency fee of $150 which includes a display table and the opportunity to make personal contact with this unique concentration of prospective long-term missionaries (typically 50 prospects at each retreat). Please bring your display with you; we are not able to receive shipped displays.

A mentor wrote a week after the retreat: one person from our small group has already sent in an application to our agency! It has been a joy staying in touch with the friends we made at this retreat. Note: space is limited and priority will be given to agencies that work among unreached peoples.

To receive more information as dates and locations across the U.S. are confirmed please complete our Contact Form.

Agencies selected to participate are required to invite some of their own agency prospects from the retreat region. Those who come will then be assigned to that missionary's discussion group so the mentor can do in-depth follow-up.  Of course, mentors will also get solid new prospects from the retreat as well.

If an agency is not able to send a missionary representative then they may pay the $100 "agency no rep" fee and mail 75 copies of one literature piece. This will be added to the resource sack that each participant receives and the agency will be highlighted from the microphone during the retreat.

Our reference is Send Me: Your Journey to the Nations. Before you come please glance at a copy or review it online at http://www.urbana.org/ns.rs.sendme.charting1.cfm.

This retreat will have about ten missionaries from multiple agencies. These missionaries will participate in small group discussions, offer one-on-one counsel, and recommend other agencies in addition to their own. Each will model vulnerability, relate well with younger people, listen first and let the small group shape the discussion. In some cases the missionary will be the small group facilitator. For others a missions mobilizer will be the facilitator and the missionary will be a member of the small group.

Those applying as missionary mentors should hold payment and also wait on finalizing travel arrangements. Within two weeks of applying we will contact you for a phone interview.

Please read the below article and come ready to discuss this Friday afternoon. Also come ready to share how God helped you overcome two or three hindrances to getting to the field, e.g.
- How you discerned God’s call
- How you discussed that call with your family
- How you decided what training to get
- How you overcame financial hindrances
- How you selected a missions agency etc.

Qualifications of an Effective Small Group Facilitator

1. Develop a sense of genuine commitment. One of the most difficult things to keep a handle on is how everyone is feeling about himself and the small group process. Some people are vocal enough to let you know exactly where they stand, but most are shy about expressing their feelings about being in the group.

It's good to remember that most people have ambivalent feelings about being in small groups. They are unsure if they'll fit in, if they have anything worth contributing, if they will be treated with respect and dignity, and if they are genuinely liked and appreciated by other group members. If those issues aren't recognized and addressed early on, members can dry up and blow away without ever giving a hint they were in trouble. People need to feel that they are a valuable part of the group. And while it is important for each person to make an effort to communicate value to the others, the leader can go a long way in setting the pace for that kind of appreciation and respect.

2. An attitude of servanthood. In other words, focus on the needs of the group and not your own. In order to do this it is important to ask them questions to draw out their needs. For example, “What will make this a great group experience for you?” “What needs to happen to make this a '10' for you?” or “What are your expectations for the group?” Questions like these can get to the heart of what people “need” from the group.

3. Take advantage of opportunities to praise the group members' strengths, talents, and abilities in front of the others.

4. Maintain positive eye contact and good non-verbal communication.

5. The appropriate use of humor. Remember two simple rules: (1) Be yourself, and use it to help effectively communicate key concepts to your group, not to simply entertain them. (2) Avoid using others' weaknesses or slips (like mispronunciations) to humor the group.

6. Model good listening skills. Many times, people say one thing but mean something totally different. Good listening skills not only hear what is said verbally, but listen to "why" something was said or "what" was truly meant by the spoken words.

7. Use the Salt principle. Salt makes people thirsty, and the goal of this principle is to create a thirst for constructive conversation in which both you and your group can learn about each other's needs. Simply, it means to never communicate information you consider to be important without first creating a burning curiosity within the listener. For example, “This next concept is one of the most important things that I've learned. It has done more for me as a missionary than anything else.” This type of statement forces others to thirst for the next concept you are referring to.

8. Use good discussion questions. A good question is one in which members discover truth for themselves. Therefore, don't ask questions that have one correct answer (e.g., “Is training important?”). Furthermore, there are several different kinds of questions, each designed to elicit different information. Some of those types are:

Information and opinion, such as, What do you think?
Relational, such as, How do you feel?
Experiential, such as, What was that like for you?
Self disclosure, such as, What's a fear you have?

In order to ask good questions, we encourage you to think about some of these rules:

Practice good listening skills.
Ask questions to draw out someone's discussion.
Encourage questions but stay focused on the theme.
Postpone questions that don't apply to the session.
Promote application to the principles. “How are things going with this area?”
Promote transparency by being transparent as a leader.
Promote the safety of trust and support. The group must support being confidential about personal areas.
Be personal and caring. People respond to genuine caring.
Encourage honesty but discourage a harsh spirit. Truth can be overwhelming if it is not shared in a genuine loving spirit.
Look for ways to encourage each participant in their own personal growth.

9. Be transparent. This can be a fearful thing for any leader, but the payoff is well worth it. As one veteran of small groups has put it, What I lost in impressiveness, I gained double in approachability. Share your appropriate failures and struggles. People get far more from a story than they do from content. The best is when you use a story to convey content.

10. A respect for and sensitivity to each group member. Regardless of his or her background or faults, each person is valuable and has a unique contribution to make to the group.

11. Keep the group on schedule. There's a real art to this, because every group gets off track some time and there's nothing wrong with that. If you control things too rigidly, your group can become frustrated they're not being allowed to express themselves.

12. Keep discussions on the central subject while still allowing room for some digression. Some guidelines to follow are:

Don't allow more talkative members of the group to ramble.
Don't be afraid to interrupt and carry on.
Permit those who are not as talkative more latitude in getting off the subject. What you lose in temporary continuity you gain in their long-term input and involvement.
Diffuse argumentation. If an argument or disagreement starts, don't allow it to continue. If you can reconcile the problem quickly, do so. Otherwise, defer it until after the session is over and meet with the parties involved.
Use steer 'em back questions like, That's an interesting point, Jim. Let's get back, though, to what we were saying a moment ago.

adapted from http://www.dnaofrelationships.com/.